A million and one ways to improve air travel

Okay, I really only got to 9 but here they are:

1. Take a lesson from IKEA: better use of vertical space. Bunk style stacked seating so you can fully recline or sit up.

2. Be more like the Star Trek Enterprise NCC-1701D. Get rid of flight attendants and make all food and beverage self-serve. Added bonuses: not being woken up for meals and bussing your tray-table as soon as you are done. Nothing worse than the lingering smell of airline food. Well, not anything I'm prepared to discuss.

3. Be a bit progressive about food allergies. Hello 21st century? Not worried about lawsuits are we airline industry? At least tell me the ingredients in both standard options when I check-in. None of the special meal categories allow me to specify that I am allergic to eggs and slightly lactose-intolerant. What is the opposite of a lacto-ovo-vegetarian, you ask? Me. Let me think about new terminology and get back to you. Monisa-tarian doesn't seem quite appropriate.

4. Don't board passengers and then push back from the gate if the systems need to be rebooted. Or at least quit giving us a hard time if we need to pee before reaching cruising altitude. Especially on a mid-morning flight. Because, turbulence schmurbulence, this coffee has to go somewhere dammit.

5. Don't bother keeping this morning's Globe and Mail for the return flight. After a full business day, as 680 news puts it, it's history. Also, I didn't watch the debate but it seems to me that Harper is using the same campaign strategy - stick to your message - as Bob and Doug, no?

6. Put some sort of seal on the plastic blanket wrap to indicate the last time it was cleaned. Or at least a bio-hazard warning. And my mother laughs at me for traveling with my own pillow and blanket.

7. There's no need to remind us that smoking is not permitted anywhere on the plane. When was the last time you saw an ashtray in a public place? Indoors, I mean. Patios don't count, especially if you're sitting out there at rush hour in downtown (insert Toronto or other bustling North American metropolis here).

8. It costs about the same to fly to Vancouver now as Hong Kong. The same level of customer service would be much appreciated (newspapers, booze, experienced cabin crew).

9. It's great that there's power onboard. Now when can I get free wifi?

So, I managed to clear immigration in less than 10 seconds at Hong Kong International Airport courtesy of my HKID chip card and thumbprint scanner. Why can't everyone be so efficient?